Robyn Shares the Story of her Boudoir Photo Shoot
When I asked Robyn to write about her boudoir shoot experience with us, she quickly responded with a “YES!”. When I first read this it brought me to tears. Robyn’s transformation has been one of the most memorable ones. Here is her story, written by Robyn herself.
Where to begin…
“I was married for X years and had lost myself in that marriage. This is a typical thing most people say, divorced or not. Between work, kid(s) activities, daily routines, and so much more it gets to be a lot and you get lost. It’s normal and happens. It is okay. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
The above is something that was told to me after my divorce when I didn’t know who I was or what I liked to do for fun. I had a hard time with knowing who I was again. Heck, I still do sometimes. I did lose myself in my marriage.
With the help of therapy, I wanted to find myself again. Part of that finding myself was learning to love the body I am in currently. We all wish we were different in one way or another. However, I know that I am a fake it until you make it kind of woman. Always have been. So, I decided to invest in myself and try to love the body I have. I am a plus size woman who was once a very skinny college girl. I envy that girl most days. She didn’t know that she would think back and wish she had it all over again. But that’s okay we only look forward, and we look back to reflect. We don’t live in the past.
So here I was, a plus size divorcee who was trying to date again in 2023. I was trying to think of things that could help me really love my body. I didn’t want to pick out all the terrible things I saw in the mirror anymore. I wanted someone who was like me. Who knows how I felt. Someone who wouldn’t judge me. Therefore, I did what every millennial does. I talked to my friends, and they suggested a boudoir shoot. I thought they were NUTS! All the things that were wrong with my body started coming back. Plus, I didn’t have anyone I was with to give the pictures too… I quickly learned that you don’t need to be perfect and do the shoot for YOURSELF.
I scoured the interwebs, and with the help of Google I found Allure and Lace. She was close, good reviews when I went to Facebook. After talking to her on the phone, I was soooooo nervous. I almost talked myself out of it, but I remembered I hadn’t done anything for myself in almost a decade. I swallowed the little voice that said, “you aren’t enough to do that yet, just wait another year” and I said “lets do it”!
I didn’t prepare much, I won’t lie. I did what Jessica recommends in the emails, but outside of that all I really did was go to Pinterest and to the Babe Cave FB group and start looking at things I liked. I had a few ideas and when I talked to Jessica about it she was so kind, helpful, and embraced my idea(s). That day I got to the studio EARLY. I was so excited, nervous, and still thought about backing out. THANK GOODNESS I didn’t! Jessica was absolutely amazing to work with. I immediately felt like she was a friend I knew for a long time, and we just were chatting and catching up on life while I got my hair and makeup done.
After the shoot, I left and felt so good. Still don’t think I am perfect, but I did the damn thing. I was so proud of myself! I couldn’t wait to get back and view my images. Once I had my viewing and ordering session, I was in shock. Pure shock! First, YOU WILL WANT ALL OF YOUR PHOTOS. Don’t be like me and think you will only like 7-10. I could not narrow it down at all. I remember telling Jessica, “That is not me!” “Who is that?” “Is that my ass?”. I grew so much with this shoot. I not only gained confidence, but respect for myself. I can do hard things. The self-doubt in my head is a flipping LIAR! I looked amazing, felt free, and actually felt something I haven’t in a really long time. I started to love myself again, both the inside and out. I cried on the way home. Like ugly cried. I learned its okay to take yourself as you are. Its okay that you are not “perfect”, no one is. It’s okay that you are still working on yourself. Its okay to love yourself. I still have problems to this day where I have fleeting thoughts of “what was I thinking” and I just have to correct my thought and say, “I love that woman”.
Since my shoot, I have had some self-growth. I think back to who I was that day and am so proud of her. The courage, determination, heart, and the balls she had makes me so joyful for her. As the woman now writing this, I am in tears again! I don’t know how much I would have grown in myself journey if it wasn’t for the kickstart that Jessica gave me. I will forever be grateful for her and the love she has for boudoir and women. I can not wait for my next session with her. To see the difference in who I become and what I have learned.
If you are on the fence, I promise you won’t be disappointed. You might be nervous. You might have self-doubt. You might even want to backout like I did. Just do it! You will be excited and remember to love yourself for where you are, not where you wish you were. It will be good for your mental health.
Signed the very hesitant plus size recent divorcee, that is now so very thankful!
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You are a work of art.